When you are hurt....

We all have experienced what it feels when we are hurt... most of the time we talk to ourselves & ask one question “Why me?”

We derive lot all of answers but could never get around the logic as to why did we get hurt at the first place.

I have been hurt multiple times; unfortunately I don’t have a permanent or temporary cure for it.

But I have discovered two facts about hurt:

     1.     If you have a heart, you will get hurt

     2.     No one intentionally will ever try to hurt you, it’s all accidental

Having said that, today I am hurt...so here I am expressing all that’s going in my heart & mind.

As I was hurt, I screamed out loud on streets caring a damn what will people think or say about me.

Has redefined few thoughts & relationships for me.

Lost control over my delivery of words.

Actions, few that I would never ever imaging doing in my wildest dreams.

So here I am HURT!

So what next?

Here are few options that we all have when we get Hurt:

•          Forgive but never forget
•          Let go & Forget
•          Giveup on expectations
•          Give-up the thing that hurt
•          Ignore & take all that happens as a bonus
•          Shield your heart so that when it again happens, u can take it as normal as you could
•          Accept everything

Well for now – my safest option is to give-up on things that hurt me. I choose to stay happy & I will embrace all that’s going to give me happiness.

Someone once advised me – If you are hurt, keep calm & never express how you feel.

I don’t know how to follow this advice, all I know is I am human, I am authentic, I am very well aware about my feelings. I will express so far I am doing justice to my feelings...after all its all about living & not just being alive.

Are you listening to your heart or mind?

At every point of time in our lives we have to make decisions. It could be as small as deciding where to go for a vacation or where to go out to dine or it could be as big as choosing a profession, choosing a job or choosing your life partner. Taking a decision has never been easy for me and I am sure it’s not that easy for you too. We get stuck at a point where we can’t make a choice. This is majorly because we don’t know should we listen to your heart or mind. The question comes next is how do we differentiate what our heart is saying and what our mind wants us to do?

Have been researching on this for a while and few things below that I will be noting down is purely based on my experience: So let me tell you something about the role of the heart and mind. Let’s take an example:-Your parents are searching a groom for you and they show you two boys x and y. You got to choose between two of them. You have met them, interacted with them and have a fair idea on what the boys are. This task is done by our mind. It logically analyses things and construct a meta-data based on different parameters. If the differences between parameters being compared are huge then decision making is obvious. Say boy x fares very poorly in comparison with boy y on some parameters of your choice. Hence the decision making becomes easy and mind says yes.

Now consider a scenario where it becomes extremely difficult to decide whom to marry. On some parameters x is better and on some y is better. Your mind has analyzed things but has failed to break the deadlock. This is where your heart comes into picture. Your heart can’t lie. It knows what it wants. Just close your eyes and I am very sure, one choice will be in front of your eyes even if it’s higher by a small percentage. Go with your heart.

The same scenario can be applied to other cases as well. You are undecided between medical or engineering course. Listen to your heart. Go with it. Don’t look back in regret at any stage. Things will work well. But when it comes to any decision related to money always listen to your mind, like gambling, investment, lending money etc

Once you have listen to your heart, it’s time for your mind to take over. And this is where you need to play a major role. Listening to your heart is simple but not easy for the mind. Never regret the decision which your heart has taken. But if you fail to do this you will be in trouble for sure. The confusion will again return and you will end up making your life miserable. 

Few days back I got my handwriting analyzed and I was surprised to know that my mind rules my heart and trust me, that’s the worst. Get out of it…I have regretted all my decisions that I have made by my mind, I was scared to close my eyes and see what I always wanted. I was scared to speak out loud and trust on things that I wanted. Have belief!

Getting over the guilt of making a wrong decision is also important. Well it is not an easy job but one way of looking at it is by asking your conscience. Ask yourself whether the decision was taken with the intention of hurting others or with the intention of keeping someone happy. If your answer to this is positive, then the question of guilt creeping in doesn’t arise at all. In extreme cases few loved ones will stop talking to you completely forcing you to think about what you have done. But if your conscience is clear then just get along with it.

To conclude mind analyses things logically and strives to arrive at a decision. If the analysis leads to confusion then ask your heart for answers. No wonder the saying
“listen to your heart when in confusion” holds well true all time.

Breaking the Ice

We’re not that different, you and I.

It’s just that I speak a lot, and you prefer to listen.

You dream a lot, I’m a bit realistic.

I laugh openly, and all you do is smile.

I cry sometimes, and you hold back your tears.

You express your doubts, and I hold back my fears.

But we love each other, and thus we are alike.

In some matters though, I have to say you’re wrong,

You complain that I don’t love you,

Just ‘cause I don’t say it out loud.

You say that I don’t care for you,

Just ‘cause I haven’t cried by your side.

You claim that I’m never happy for you,

Just ‘cause I’ve never laughed when you have.

I want to confront you; I want to tell you,

I do love, I do care,

And I’m always happy when you are.

But that would involve speaking my heart out,

Something I’ve never been very good at.

What if you think I’m rude?

What if you think I’m self-centered?

What if I lose you forever?

I shudder to think of that possibility,

And I quiet down, saying nothing.

It is then that I realize, that even I’m flawed.

'Cause with you, I still haven’t learnt how to break the ice...

~~Guest Post

A Closed heart

Not an open heart

No lots of love to give,

A closed heart.

May be fear of losing identity,

May be fear of getting hurt,

May be fighting with pains,

May be filled with past fails,

May be fear of losing the most loved,

May be fear of be taken advantage,

Used,

Abused,

Stalked,

No thanks,

A closed heart,

Can’t force it to open.

An open heart seems kind of a stupid thing at times.

Breathing,

Voice,

Not believing its feelings

Speaking through the silence

But a closed heart still beats, breaths & feels.