Saturday, March 2, 2013

Handling Compliments

Ask my friends or colleagues & they will tell you that they are scared to compliment me but royally enjoy teasing me.
Here’s the confession: “I am hopeless when it comes to handling compliments”.
Handling compliments in social life is part of conversation; I feel awkward and handle them poorly. I deflect or dismiss compliments. For example:
You compliment me on my externals/apparel and I would respond, "Oh, this color is all wrong for me."
You compliment on an excellent report, and I would say, "I should have finished it sooner."  
You call me beautiful & I might just hit you.

Well lately I have figured out that this can’t continue, it’s a sign of emotional maturity to be able to accept compliments gracefully. However, I've found it's a skill that is not always learned when growing up. For various cultural reasons, some families think that complimenting their children will make them prideful and "give them a big head." So even if a child excels in some activity like sports or academics, parents don't give a compliment on a job well done. As a result, those children don't learn to be comfortable receiving compliments.

This is what I have been practising off lately: when someone gives me a genuine compliment, I say something like "Thank you very much," or "I appreciate your saying that." Such a response is complementary (completes the exchange) to the compliment (praise.)

Even if someone gives you a less-than-genuine compliment (flattery), you can still be gracious and say "Thank you." Don't challenge the person by saying "You don't really mean that, do you?" Trust me, I know it really takes lots of guts to compliment someone & if that’s not acknowledge well - it’s like disrespecting & hurting them.

Best way to handle compliments is by keeping in mind that it just lasts for that min, you got to start working much harder the other min to retain it. Compliments add more expectations & makes one conscious, but if you learn to be comfortable in your own would be just easy to smile & say Thank You!

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